The return of a Prison Break is like a all the holidays combined for us here at RHAW. 7 year wait, and excited as when it first happened! Having said that, this post will not be about the series. Rather, I’m using the event of the return to touch up on my eternal Wentworth Miller inspiration. Which part?

The part where all of us need to learn a whole lots from this man. Where do you even start? Listen to his many speeches on Youtube, take notes from his advocacy? Yes and yes. Yes to its all. But for me, how he protects his sanity and insists on his self-care in spite of public opinions are both inspiring and a blue-print of how to deal with our own.

I find his Facebook Page the most inspiring, mostly because he writes his thoughts, daily. Nothing else can pick me up from the regular disappointments with human race, but his daily thought on the same. I read Went’s notes on FB religiously, and this hiatus he’s doing of no posting while new Prison Break is on; even though I understand his dismay with fame & attention, I miss the guidance. He always had the perfect amount of secludedness yet dash of healthy arrogance, openness and yet telling you to go fuck yourself if you came on his page to look for Michael Scofield. There’s no Michael there. He does not give a rats ass if you are a fan. He worked hard on the new series. Go watch it if you want. Or don’t. But this is his personal space. And on his personal space, this being his online personal space; he does not like to be told what to feel.

No, social media does not mean you are invited to giveaway your opinions like cheap beauty products, you can go do that on Huffington Post. Someone’s social media is their personal space, where they make rules, where you should come to “grab” or “take” something you like, something that inspires you, and skip what doesn’t.

Wentworth likes to read the comments on his page, and get inspired while inspiring others. He gets affected with positivity. And he gets affected with random negativity. And then there are those telling you how you should feel, masking their condescendence into worry or help. Uhm, no. You not fooling anyone, buddy. I hate when people tell me how I should feel. “Don’t let that bug you Miranda, just ignore, brush it off, come on Miranda let it slide!”

The world’s obsession with detachment from just about everything seriously doesn’t do it for me anymore. Why do we need to be detached from everything, not to feel anything, not to show hurt; WHY? To be considered cool in today’s norms of success and pretend aloofness directed outside, on your social media, for everyone to see/validate; while you’re not leaving your bed for days in real life? Show how you feel. Be real. Connect to people with your hurt. It will pass. Dwell on it if you need to. Have your space. Go through your space. Be a real motherfucker, FEEL. Say how you feel.

Went hates when you tell him how to feel, on his FB Page. Specifically when he writes about something that touched him, and people comment – “Don’t take it so personally!” Or in his words:

Not long ago I posted something and one of the follow-up comments was, “Why do you have to take everything so personally?” Because it’s my personal page. Kidding. (Kind of.)

Then he’s going to give you the Wentworth Miller sass and you do not want to be on the receiving end of an Ivy League sass who is an unprecedented ruler of written word, no less –

The best actors have learned to Take It Very Personally. Whatever “It” is. They’re reactive. Sensitive. And the world – busy Manning Up and Buttoning Down – pays good money to watch. 

Snap #1

I thinned my skin. Intentionally. That learned openness doesn’t just click off when the director yells “Cut!” It’s interesting to me how some folks will tsk-tsk when a well-known actor spins out in public. “Dra-ma!” Well. Yeah. That’s why they’re well-known and not still waiting tables.

Snap #2

Taking it personally, being sensitive, vulnerable, its not your weakness. Get it out of your head! It’s your power. How so? Watch this amazing TED talk on the subject. I’ll break it down for you. Being vulnerable is connecting with another human being. And connection is why we’re here. Vulnerability is a struggle with our worthiness BUT also a birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging, love. And you can’t selectively numb feelings. When you numb hard feelings and vulnerability; you numb joy, gratitude, happiness, too. And you do not want to numb those. Or any!

Vulnerability is the key to freedom.

And when you feel vulnerable, you can embrace it, say it, share it, be authentic and real, or you can swallow it inside and blame others. Do you know what’s definition of BLAME described in research? A way to discharge pain and discomfort.

Do you want to show your hurt, or be that asshole masking the pain and discomfort?

I’m very strong, and most of the time I appear arrogant as fuck. Is it an LA thing? Everyone with a brain and tiny bit of sass, attitude or an opinion is arrogant or rude in LA. This joint just does not know how to do opposite than submissive. But I hurt. I hurt rare, but when I do, it’s Forth of July fireworks situation-room hurt. Am I week? Not in a million years. But am I vulnerable? Abso-fucking-lutely.

I’ve been messing with a certain people, situations (deduct plurals), that got me where I didn’t want to be. I did some things, they did some things, and I didn’t like where the things got me. It got me where I wasn’t planning, and I got dismayed. And I said it. Out-loud. And all my friends got in a tizzy! Omg, well he can’t make you feel that way, are you serious that you actually feel something?! How could you? Snap out of it!

Ok let me just snap. Out of it one second or two or 6 thousand seconds.

Because I feel. Because it happened and I feel. And I will tell you so, no mater how hard it makes you place me (or throw me) from certain pedestals. But you are giving him power! Stop it! Get it together! I don’t want to get it together. I want to dwell in my vulnerability, he can have this power, for a minute there BEFORE I regain my power. I want to memorize this moment of shock and why it happened. Because by living in it, I’m creating “a certain quality of space”. My vulnerability makes me this person you now, reading this, wonder, how I can make all this happen, write this article on 1 hour sleep (I don’t even sleep anymore, I nap) before I will start my day and do 4 meetings and 2 projects, and a therapy session, and late lunch and see a friend who came back to town, and I’ll finish all that by 9 pm, just in time for the Prison Break; and I can do it all, BECAUSE I’m vulnerable. Exactly because I FEEL.

And the piece that started this whole post idea? The original Wentworth post about Taking it Personally, and being sensitive and/or vulnerable, a must must read –

I think being sensitive is a good thing. I think Taking It Personally is a good thing. It’s made me the man/actor/writer I am today. I wouldn’t change that for anything. I would say being sensitive is what makes us human. That people who Take It Personally change the world. Get sh-t done. Why? Because we Make It Personal. Whatever “It” is. I would also say that, being sensitive, it serves me to continue to practice being sensitive to others. To practice holding a certain quality of space. To assess, to the best of my abilities, whether what someone says to me, about me, or around me is really about them. Not me. And react accordingly.

Sometimes being sensitive looks like knowing when I don’t need to Take It Personally.